Born This Way, Or Just A Choice?

There has been something has been bothering me ever since I heard a friend tell me something that was "bothering her".  It has actually been a couple of weeks since she has said this to me and it has just been eating at me ever since.  She looked me straight in the eye and told me that she is ok with me being a homosexual as long as I did NOT tell her that I was "born this way".  What is she implying?!  That I choose to be discriminated against my entire life?  That I love to be mocked and I enjoy jokes being made at my expense?

What I don't understand is, why do people feel they have the right to tell me that I choose to be this way?  I wholeheartedly feel that I was born a homosexual.  Yes, growing up I had the same urges as the other boys, but only because I felt like I was doing something wrong and not dating girls.  The older I got, the harder it was for me to hide these feelings I had for other boys my age.  A lot of people don't understand the hardships that teenagers face coming to terms for being gay.

I actually just recently had the courage to tell my parents that I am gay, after going four years of actually being open about my sexuality to my friends.  That was probably the hardest thing in my life thus far is just getting enough courage to actually look my parents in the eyes and tell them their youngest son is a homosexual.  If this was a choice, why would it be so hard to tell your parents that you are gay?  I just don't understand.

There are certain things that people just shouldn't ask other people and I feel this is just a mere question amongst millions that shouldn't just be asked.  My friends and my family have came to terms that I am a homosexual and that it isn't a choice in my life, but just a reflection of who I am.  So, I ask again, are people actually born this way, or is it just a choice?  Don't get me wrong, I feel there are some people out there that feel this is a "fad" and feel like they are jumping on the bandwagon and want to join the "in crowd".  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!

What also gets me riled up, is the fact that people are fine with who you are until that single moment they find out you like the same sex.  Then, it's almost as if WWIII is going to break out.  What's the big deal? If I never made a pass at you before, I surely won't make a pass at you once I finally feel the need to include you in on one of my most secretest of secrets.  I've lost friends that I've had almost my entire life because they just can't get it into that dense head of theirs that it is just the same old me, just they know something new about me now.

I'm not ashamed of who I am, I never will be.  I'm not going to be the kind of person that goes up to the highest building and scream at the top my lungs that I'm gay, that just isn't me.  However, with that being said, I'm not going to deny who I am either.  If you like me, GREAT, but if you don't like me, even greater.  You'll live your life, and I'll live my life.  Simple as that.

This blog may not have been as long as I originally had planned, I did an big edit to it once I reread it.  There was a great deal more I wanted to write about, but the fact that this is a touchy subject, I'll leave you all with this little bit of wisdom:  Not everyone is the same, people are like gardens, we all grow and bloom differently, some need more fertilizer and some just need to be weeded, but we all grow to be beautiful in our own special way.