This last weekend, I was at a friend's house and was actually talked into quitting smoking. I have been smoking for a little over a decade now, when I was younger, that time frame seemed so long; now that I am older, that just seems like it was just yesterday. WOW!
A friend of mine actually has me on a 20 week schedule to help me quit, although with that being said, I'll probably be done with this program within 10 weeks. See, I smoke a pack a day and the program that he has me doing is, on the first week, throw one cigarette from each pack away and two from each pack starting the second week and so on. I mentioned to him that when I hit the mark of throwing away a half a pack each time, I'm going to be so disgusted with this that I'm not even going to take the time out of my day to even go to the store to purchase a pack.
I've said all along that I just wanted someone that is relatively close to me to "make" me stop doing this. I've tried on my own before, but I've never actually had the encouragement and pressure from someone to help me do this.
I have been able to do this for almost a week now, and the first couple of times, it was actually kind of hard, but now that I'm onto my fifth pack of the week already, it is just second nature by now. I feel a little liberated every time I take that nice crisp cigarette from the pack and break it in half, it is almost as if I am breaking something that has broken me for the last 10 years!
I know that many people don't find this habit to be appealing, but if you can't get your mind into it, it is rather hard to actually fulfill the need to stop. If I am able to make it threw this and actually be able to kick the habit, I will owe everything to this man!
I'm feeling liberated every single day now! Thanks Chance!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Death would be so much easier...
I haven't written anything for a few days; mostly due to the fact that I haven't been able to breathe or function properly. I don't know if it is just a severe allergy do dah or possibly Bronchitis... ugh.
While sitting here and thinking about my impending doom from coughing and not being able to breathe, I've been thinking. Oh no, me thinking! But, I'm from a small city just south of where I live right now and there is a small hospital that many call a band-aid station. St. Joseph's.
I know many people that actually hate going to this hospital and say they would never take their dogs there to get looked at. Well I would hope not! This is a people hospital and not a pet hospital. I know that people are allowed to voice their own opinions about certain ideas, but this is one opinion that I feel that people should seriously keep to themselves.
Many of my family members are employed by this hospital and have made a life career out of it. You don't see people coming into your place of work and "dissing" what you do for a living, right? I know that some aren't partial to the way that some people choose to make a living, but there is a reason as to why they chose it and you didn't.
Yes, last summer I had to go to that hospital due to dehydration and spent a wapping 3 hours in the ER waiting for someone to tell me what was wrong and what I needed to do. And yes, I swore that I would never go back to it, but the fact of the matter is, I would trust my life to those people that work there.
Whenever I was in 7th grade, my father was rushed to the ER there for a disease that many don't know what causes it or what it is even called. Diproticulitus (the closest I could come to spell it). If it wasn't for the fact that St. Joe's was just a 15 minute drive from my parent's house, and doctors that are leaders in their field, my father wouldn't be alive today. We spent almost a year in that hospital waiting for him to be good enough to come home. To this day, every time I see his doctors out on the street, I thank them for what they did for my family. That is another good aspect to this hospital, the doctors are part of the community and help with it.
The more I sit here and think, the more it irritates me to no end. I personally wouldn't want to go to Ruby because of what they did to a family member. I have a joke that me a friend came up with: Even if I am dying on the front step of Ruby, you make them take me to MonGeneral. Fact of the matter is, if I'm dying, I would hope that Ruby Memorial would do what they are trained to do and help me. Everyone does have the option to do whatever they want, but are you really going to be the one to look at someone and tell them that you don't want their help to send you somewhere else when you're in bad shape? I surely am not.
Before you open those vial mouths and spit out what you think people want to hear, think about it. I was told a saying by my father, you know the one that the "band-aid station" saved, that I'll always remember until the day I die and pass onto my own children: It is better to leave your mouth shut and be thought a fool, then to open it and remove all doubt.
While sitting here and thinking about my impending doom from coughing and not being able to breathe, I've been thinking. Oh no, me thinking! But, I'm from a small city just south of where I live right now and there is a small hospital that many call a band-aid station. St. Joseph's.
I know many people that actually hate going to this hospital and say they would never take their dogs there to get looked at. Well I would hope not! This is a people hospital and not a pet hospital. I know that people are allowed to voice their own opinions about certain ideas, but this is one opinion that I feel that people should seriously keep to themselves.
Many of my family members are employed by this hospital and have made a life career out of it. You don't see people coming into your place of work and "dissing" what you do for a living, right? I know that some aren't partial to the way that some people choose to make a living, but there is a reason as to why they chose it and you didn't.
Yes, last summer I had to go to that hospital due to dehydration and spent a wapping 3 hours in the ER waiting for someone to tell me what was wrong and what I needed to do. And yes, I swore that I would never go back to it, but the fact of the matter is, I would trust my life to those people that work there.
Whenever I was in 7th grade, my father was rushed to the ER there for a disease that many don't know what causes it or what it is even called. Diproticulitus (the closest I could come to spell it). If it wasn't for the fact that St. Joe's was just a 15 minute drive from my parent's house, and doctors that are leaders in their field, my father wouldn't be alive today. We spent almost a year in that hospital waiting for him to be good enough to come home. To this day, every time I see his doctors out on the street, I thank them for what they did for my family. That is another good aspect to this hospital, the doctors are part of the community and help with it.
The more I sit here and think, the more it irritates me to no end. I personally wouldn't want to go to Ruby because of what they did to a family member. I have a joke that me a friend came up with: Even if I am dying on the front step of Ruby, you make them take me to MonGeneral. Fact of the matter is, if I'm dying, I would hope that Ruby Memorial would do what they are trained to do and help me. Everyone does have the option to do whatever they want, but are you really going to be the one to look at someone and tell them that you don't want their help to send you somewhere else when you're in bad shape? I surely am not.
Before you open those vial mouths and spit out what you think people want to hear, think about it. I was told a saying by my father, you know the one that the "band-aid station" saved, that I'll always remember until the day I die and pass onto my own children: It is better to leave your mouth shut and be thought a fool, then to open it and remove all doubt.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Hatred: enforced by the Bible or by individual beliefs?
Recently on campus, there has been a movement to start an organization dealing with the Gay-Straight Alliance. People had expressed their concerns for this organization via an input forum online, and then an open discussion was held on campus to discuss the pros and cons about having an organization like this on a Christian campus.
What many of the people that were writing the negative comments on this page online didn't seem to grasp is the idea that the organization was meant soul-ly for the benefit of unity between homosexuals and heterosexuals. Many of the opposing thoughts and comments kept quoting the Bible and not giving actual consideration to the organization to begin with. If you are going to quote the Bible and start discussing God and what He wants, shouldn't you also think about the ability he gave us a humans? The ability to think for ourselves, but at the same time, honor Him? I don't want to get into a religious discussion, only due to the fact that religion is a touchy subject for anyone.
The thing I don't understand is this: a Gay-Straight Alliance is that, an ALLIANCE. This whole not allowing the organization to come to be was mostly done on one person's belief of not needing it. Excuse me, but when I signed the petition for the club to start, there were signatures present on it before I even made it to the office. What about our voice for wanting the club to start? Are you telling me that one student has more of a voice than all of us that signed it? I chose this college to attend not because of their religious affiliation, but because of their Business Program. I was told that if I didn't feel welcome enough on campus, I could attend their Chapter of BCM. I'm sorry, I am a Methodist by faith and feel threatened by a Christian group that feels the need to discourage anyone from meeting.
I thought that by our Constitution, we have the right to gather as a peaceful group. Isn't this institution stopping us to gather? I don't want to bring politics into this either, even though I just brought it up. I feel that if they are threatened by us, then join us. There is a saying: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
If students don't want this organization on campus, then I want to start a petition to ban all the organizations off this institution that I feel isn't needed. Let's start with the Fraternities and Sororities. Then from there, we'll move onto the sports teams. Just because a few people are threatened by what a select group wants to do, does not mean they have the right to keep us from doing what God intended us to do: Be unique, Be ourselves, and Be what WE want to be!
What many of the people that were writing the negative comments on this page online didn't seem to grasp is the idea that the organization was meant soul-ly for the benefit of unity between homosexuals and heterosexuals. Many of the opposing thoughts and comments kept quoting the Bible and not giving actual consideration to the organization to begin with. If you are going to quote the Bible and start discussing God and what He wants, shouldn't you also think about the ability he gave us a humans? The ability to think for ourselves, but at the same time, honor Him? I don't want to get into a religious discussion, only due to the fact that religion is a touchy subject for anyone.
The thing I don't understand is this: a Gay-Straight Alliance is that, an ALLIANCE. This whole not allowing the organization to come to be was mostly done on one person's belief of not needing it. Excuse me, but when I signed the petition for the club to start, there were signatures present on it before I even made it to the office. What about our voice for wanting the club to start? Are you telling me that one student has more of a voice than all of us that signed it? I chose this college to attend not because of their religious affiliation, but because of their Business Program. I was told that if I didn't feel welcome enough on campus, I could attend their Chapter of BCM. I'm sorry, I am a Methodist by faith and feel threatened by a Christian group that feels the need to discourage anyone from meeting.
I thought that by our Constitution, we have the right to gather as a peaceful group. Isn't this institution stopping us to gather? I don't want to bring politics into this either, even though I just brought it up. I feel that if they are threatened by us, then join us. There is a saying: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
If students don't want this organization on campus, then I want to start a petition to ban all the organizations off this institution that I feel isn't needed. Let's start with the Fraternities and Sororities. Then from there, we'll move onto the sports teams. Just because a few people are threatened by what a select group wants to do, does not mean they have the right to keep us from doing what God intended us to do: Be unique, Be ourselves, and Be what WE want to be!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Born This Way, Or Just A Choice?
There has been something has been bothering me ever since I heard a friend tell me something that was "bothering her". It has actually been a couple of weeks since she has said this to me and it has just been eating at me ever since. She looked me straight in the eye and told me that she is ok with me being a homosexual as long as I did NOT tell her that I was "born this way". What is she implying?! That I choose to be discriminated against my entire life? That I love to be mocked and I enjoy jokes being made at my expense?
What I don't understand is, why do people feel they have the right to tell me that I choose to be this way? I wholeheartedly feel that I was born a homosexual. Yes, growing up I had the same urges as the other boys, but only because I felt like I was doing something wrong and not dating girls. The older I got, the harder it was for me to hide these feelings I had for other boys my age. A lot of people don't understand the hardships that teenagers face coming to terms for being gay.
I actually just recently had the courage to tell my parents that I am gay, after going four years of actually being open about my sexuality to my friends. That was probably the hardest thing in my life thus far is just getting enough courage to actually look my parents in the eyes and tell them their youngest son is a homosexual. If this was a choice, why would it be so hard to tell your parents that you are gay? I just don't understand.
There are certain things that people just shouldn't ask other people and I feel this is just a mere question amongst millions that shouldn't just be asked. My friends and my family have came to terms that I am a homosexual and that it isn't a choice in my life, but just a reflection of who I am. So, I ask again, are people actually born this way, or is it just a choice? Don't get me wrong, I feel there are some people out there that feel this is a "fad" and feel like they are jumping on the bandwagon and want to join the "in crowd". WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!
What also gets me riled up, is the fact that people are fine with who you are until that single moment they find out you like the same sex. Then, it's almost as if WWIII is going to break out. What's the big deal? If I never made a pass at you before, I surely won't make a pass at you once I finally feel the need to include you in on one of my most secretest of secrets. I've lost friends that I've had almost my entire life because they just can't get it into that dense head of theirs that it is just the same old me, just they know something new about me now.
I'm not ashamed of who I am, I never will be. I'm not going to be the kind of person that goes up to the highest building and scream at the top my lungs that I'm gay, that just isn't me. However, with that being said, I'm not going to deny who I am either. If you like me, GREAT, but if you don't like me, even greater. You'll live your life, and I'll live my life. Simple as that.
This blog may not have been as long as I originally had planned, I did an big edit to it once I reread it. There was a great deal more I wanted to write about, but the fact that this is a touchy subject, I'll leave you all with this little bit of wisdom: Not everyone is the same, people are like gardens, we all grow and bloom differently, some need more fertilizer and some just need to be weeded, but we all grow to be beautiful in our own special way.
What I don't understand is, why do people feel they have the right to tell me that I choose to be this way? I wholeheartedly feel that I was born a homosexual. Yes, growing up I had the same urges as the other boys, but only because I felt like I was doing something wrong and not dating girls. The older I got, the harder it was for me to hide these feelings I had for other boys my age. A lot of people don't understand the hardships that teenagers face coming to terms for being gay.
I actually just recently had the courage to tell my parents that I am gay, after going four years of actually being open about my sexuality to my friends. That was probably the hardest thing in my life thus far is just getting enough courage to actually look my parents in the eyes and tell them their youngest son is a homosexual. If this was a choice, why would it be so hard to tell your parents that you are gay? I just don't understand.
There are certain things that people just shouldn't ask other people and I feel this is just a mere question amongst millions that shouldn't just be asked. My friends and my family have came to terms that I am a homosexual and that it isn't a choice in my life, but just a reflection of who I am. So, I ask again, are people actually born this way, or is it just a choice? Don't get me wrong, I feel there are some people out there that feel this is a "fad" and feel like they are jumping on the bandwagon and want to join the "in crowd". WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!
What also gets me riled up, is the fact that people are fine with who you are until that single moment they find out you like the same sex. Then, it's almost as if WWIII is going to break out. What's the big deal? If I never made a pass at you before, I surely won't make a pass at you once I finally feel the need to include you in on one of my most secretest of secrets. I've lost friends that I've had almost my entire life because they just can't get it into that dense head of theirs that it is just the same old me, just they know something new about me now.
I'm not ashamed of who I am, I never will be. I'm not going to be the kind of person that goes up to the highest building and scream at the top my lungs that I'm gay, that just isn't me. However, with that being said, I'm not going to deny who I am either. If you like me, GREAT, but if you don't like me, even greater. You'll live your life, and I'll live my life. Simple as that.
This blog may not have been as long as I originally had planned, I did an big edit to it once I reread it. There was a great deal more I wanted to write about, but the fact that this is a touchy subject, I'll leave you all with this little bit of wisdom: Not everyone is the same, people are like gardens, we all grow and bloom differently, some need more fertilizer and some just need to be weeded, but we all grow to be beautiful in our own special way.
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